A mother to her child


Talking about Halal and Haram is an introduction for her to make her understand why there are rules before giving the reasons. You have to plant inside her the love of Allah ﷻ and her trust in Him. Let her see how Allah is the Most Merciful. When He allows and forbids something, it is a mercy from Him for us. Allah ﷻ told us about the Haram so that we will learn obedience to Him.

When He asks you not to do something, it is bad for you. Go and study why it is Haram, and you will find it is really bad. When we talk about wine, the dead meat, pork … until now new studies come every day and find out that this is really bad. When Allah ﷻ forbids something, it happened that it is a form of punishment for some people. And when the Prophet ﷺ came, he informed them that those Haram things for them is now abrogated and already became Halal.

Allah ﷻ gave us the Halal and Haram to organize our lives. He alone knows what is best for us and gave us limitations to protect us. Allah ﷻ had given us everything in this life and everything were created for us. When Allah ﷻ forbids something, then here comes your trust in Allah ﷻ and your loyalty to Islam. You trust Him that He will guide you. When He puts something Halal, it is for your own good and when He puts something Haram, it is for your own good.

A mother to her child…

As a person who is guiding someone else, you need to be soft and make it simple to her, so practicing will be easy. Give it to her gradually. The relation is new, the information is new, and the adjustment will take time. You, the teacher, is like a mother to your child, the revert Muslim. And as a mother, you only want the best for your child. So it is your duty now how to make her apply, how to make her accept and digest this new information. A mother, for example, when she tells her child not to do something, her child trusts that her mother knows what is best for her (the child). If the child is stubborn, she will be upset and the mother will be hurt. But as the child grows, she will come to understand why her mother forbids her to do it. Once you tell your child not to do something and you will give her the reasons, she would stop. Think of this revert Muslim the same way as you are raising your child. Convince her when teaching Halal and Haram by bringing touching stories, true-to-life examples. We are all seeking knowledge. Whatever it takes, be open about everything and anything … about life, eating, drinking, marriage, children, sex, etc. You can give the information to her by being open and make her accept it in a way that she can practice it. When you are talking about Halal and Haram, you are talking about everyday life. Talk about your life, your children, your work, etc. – make her accept altogether. For those who are not born Muslims and reverted, you have been there, you know what they are thinking, and you know what are their beliefs, so you know how to deal with them yourself.

When trials come to you, you cry and you are sad. Allah ﷻ wants to give you extra credit. And then you scream at the top of your lungs, you lost that extra credit. Allah ﷻ is telling us: “Be careful, do not go there,” because you will lose some of the reward of the trial that Allah ﷻ gave you. Trials come and go because at many points of your life, you seem to forget God. So the trials that He gave us are ways of getting closer to Him. It is like a chance the professor is giving his student a research project because his mark is quite low. And when the research is completed, then the professor will give him an extra grade. But when his student did not strive to do anything, then he has no extra reward. Trials are your opportunity to gain an additional reward and upgrade your level.

At the moment of anger, Satan exits from your heart to your brain. Why the brain? Once the Satan is in control of your brain, you lost it. One moment of anger will control your body, literally from head to toes. When you are fighting with somebody, you start to get up and that boiling blood fills you up. You became like a monster. You do not have anything in your heart because it is your brain that is talking. You feel that you are in your full mind because your head is working. And you start beating your child, one terrible blow can hurt him and he may end up in the hospital. He might even lose his life. In America, beating your own child is not an easy thing; they might take your child away if their warnings are not heeded.

In Islam, in moment of anger you have to seek refuge in Allah ﷻ from Satan. And get away from the person you are angry to. Anger takes so much of your energy, you will have a terrible headache, a pain in the stomach, feeling of weakness, and you might even vomit. You hurt someone and at the end, you hurt yourself physically and emotionally. People who are angry all the time affect their lives and their personality. Bad things will come and you keep on crying to the point that you are already complaining to Allah ﷻ. You tend to tell yourself: “Why me? O Allah, like this and like that. What did I do wrong?” Too much anger, too much sadness will open a door for Satan.

 “They said: Our Lord! We have wronged ourselves. If you forgive us not and have not mercy on us, surely we are of the lost!” [Al-A’raf 7:23]