Negative traits

Relationship with others (العلاقة مع الآخرين)


THE TONGUE

The social matters that are related to morals and ethics are mainly associated to tongue. The tongue, though very small and tiny in size, holds great importance in one’s social life. The good behaviors and characters are chiefly the phenomenon of tongue. Lying, abusing, slandering, backbiting, gossiping, scandal mongering and other social evils are concerned with this tiny piece of flesh.

Another Hadith explains the important position of tongue among the other parts of the body saying: “When man wakes up in the morning each day, all parts of the body warn the tongue saying, ‘Fear Allah as regards us; for we are at your mercy; if you are upright, we will be upright and if you are crooked, we become crooked.” [Tirmidhi, 2407]

PERJURY (شهادة الزور) FALSE TESTIMONY

And those who will not witness vanity, but when they pass near senseless play, pass by with dignity. [Al-Furqan 25:72]

That (is the command). And whoso magnifies the sacred things of Allah, it will be well for him in the sight of his Lord. The cattle are lawful unto you save that which hath been told you. So shun the filth of idols, and shun lying speech. [Al-Hajj 22:30]

 SLANDER (القذف) AL-QADF

Accusing any woman of adultery is a serious matter; especially if she did not do it and she never ever imagine doing it. In fact, it is one of the major sins. In Islam, 4 witnesses who saw the act are required to accuse a woman of adultery. To cover her sins is a chance for her to repent.

And those who accuse honorable women but bring not four witnesses, scourge them (with) 80 stripes and never (afterward) accept their testimony – They indeed are evil-doers. [An-Nur 24:4]

When you welcomed it with your tongues, and uttered with your mouths that whereof ye had no knowledge, ye counted it a trifle. In the sight of Allah it is very great. [An-Nur 24:15]

Lo! Those who love that slander should be spread concerning those who believe, theirs will be a painful punishment in the world and the Hereafter. Allah knows. You know not. [An-Nur 24:19]

Lo! As for those who traduce virtuous, believing women (who are) careless, cursed are they in the world and the Hereafter. Theirs will be an awful doom. [An-Nur 24:23]

MOCKERY (السخرية)

Mockery of the religion is disbelief (Kufr). Whoever mocks anything from what Allah sent down or of anything that the Messenger came with has become a disbeliever.

And if you were to ask them, they would say: “Surely we were only jesting and playing.’ Say: ‘Was it Allah, His Verses, or His Messenger you were mocking? Make no mistake, verily you have disbelieved after your belief.” [At-Tawbah 9:65-66]

The verse meant that they were believers prior to that, but then they became disbelievers by mocking that which they knew that it was Haram to mock, but they did not think that this was Kufr. The same applies to making fun of some Sunnah such as making fun of the beard, the Hijab, shortening one’s garment, etc.

BACKBITING (الغيبة)

Backbiting is to speak ill of a person behind his back, including matters concerning his character, worldly affairs, physical appearance and personality. Not only is backbiting restricted to words, but also it includes every behavior and deed, whether indicating to a person by gesturing with one’s eyes, hand or head. So, backbiting is to mention something about a person in his absence that he hates to have mentioned, even though these things exist in him and are true.

The Prophet ﷺ has been reported saying: “Whoever protects his tongue from unlawful utterances and guards his private parts from illegal sexual relations, I shall guarantee him entrance into the Paradise.” [Sahih Bukhari, 6109]

The Prophet ﷺ was asked: “Who is the best Muslim? The Messenger of Allah replied: “He is the one from the evils of whose tongue and hands people are safe.” [Sunan Nasa’i, 11726]

The Prophet ﷺ asked his companions: “Do you know what backbiting is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He then said, “It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike.” Someone asked him, “But what if what I say is true?” The Messenger of Allah said, “If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him.” [Sahih Muslim, 2589]

NO OFFENSIVE NAME CALLING OR LOOKING DOWN ON OTHERS

Name calling is another term for verbal abuse, mostly personal. It is an abusive or insulting language, also called sarcasm.

O you who believe, let no men scorn other men, for they might well be better than they are. And let no women scorn other women, for they might well be better than they. And do not find fault with one another, or give each other insulting nicknames. [Al-Hujurat 49:11]

Woe to whoever demeans others behind their back or to their face. [Al-Humazah 104:1]

The Prophet ﷺ said, “Let there be no harming another, or harming him back. Whoever harms another Allah shall harm, and whoever gives trouble to another Allah shall give trouble to.” [Hakim]

SUSPICION (الظن)

Do not be suspicious because you might interpret the situation in a wrong way. If you are always in doubt, you will end up having no friends. Do not let the bad thoughts overcome your good thoughts. Too much suspicion will lead you to suspect your relationship with Allah.

O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah, verily, Allah is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful.  [Al-Hujurat  49:12]

ENVY (الحسد) AND JEALOUSY (الغيرة)

  • Strictly speaking, envy (Hasad) is hatred and disliking the good condition of the envied one.
  • And from the evil of the envier when he envies. [Al-Falaq 113:5]
  • Envy is burning your good deeds and you are committing a sin. The envious people are sick in their bodies. They do not enjoy what they have because they are not satisfied with it. They are sad, miserable people. Their envy takes away the joy of their lives. They are always on guard of other people’s good things.

2 types of envy

1.  Unrestricted dislike of the blessings bestowed upon the envied

  • It is a desire to have the blessings removed, for indeed the one who dislikes the blessings bestowed upon other than him desires to see them removed.
  • When one hates something he is then hurt and grieved by the existence of what he hates, and this becomes a sickness in his heart.
  • He finds relief and takes pleasure in removal of the blessings from the envied even if this does not result in any benefit to him except for the single benefit of having his pain removed.

2.  Ghubtah: It is the dislike of the superiority of that person over him, and he desires to be like her or better. 

2 kinds of desirable envy

  1. One who has a lot of money and spending it in the way of Allah.
  2. One who has a beneficial knowledge and teaching it to others

“There is no desirable form of jealousy except for two types: a person to whom Allah has given the Qur’an and he recites it day and night, so when a person hears him he says, ‘If only I were given the likes of what he has been given so that I may act upon it the way this person is.’ And a person to whom Allah has bestowed wealth and he spends in the cause of Truth, so a person says, ‘If only I were given the likes of what he has been given, so that I may act upon it the way this person is.’” [Sahih Al-Bukhari, Eng. Trans. 6/501 no. 544]

 3 reasons of envy

  1. Anger
  2. Arrogance
  3. Bad insight

Do your good deeds secretly. Do not show it up because people may envy you. The feeling of satisfaction is a blessing from Allah, you are happy with what you have because you are contented with it.

 

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