Relationship with others (العلاقة مع الآخرين)
THE PARENTS (الوالدين)
“Your Lord has decreed that you shall not worship except Him, and your parents shall be honored. As long as one or both of them live, you shall never say to them, “Uff” (the slightest gesture of annoyance), nor shall you shout at them; you shall treat them amicably. And lower for them the wings of humility, and kindness, and say, “My Lord, have mercy on them, for they have raised me from infancy. Your Lord is fully aware of your innermost thoughts. If you maintain righteousness, He is Forgiver of those who repent. [Al-Isra 17:23-25]
Disloyalty to parents is Haram: One of the ways to be loyal to your parents (even after their death) is try to be close to their friends and keep the relations. If your parents tell you do something, obey them. Children, at their tender age, do not show their appreciation and their obedience. You have to build that inside them by showing them how you act with your own parents. It is your duty and a responsibility as a mother to set an example for them. Whatever you do to your parents, your children will do it to you in return.
Cursing the parents is Haram: There is also a Hadith mentioning that cursing the parents is one of the major sins. Some people curse their own parents secretly or indirectly. But to curse someone else’s parents, you are calling that someone to curse back your parents. So it is as if you are the one cursing your parents.
Be good to your Non-Muslim parents: Treat them kindly as long as they are not telling you to do something against Islam. Try to continue sharing them the special days where the families get together. Purify your intention and emphasize that your presence means sharing the togetherness.
“But if they strive with you to make you ascribe unto Me as partner that of which you hast no knowledge, then obey them not. Consort with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who repented unto Me. Then unto Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what ye used to do.” [Luqman 31:15]
THE CHILDREN (الأطفال)
Killing your own child for fear of poverty is Haram: Providing for your children is Allah’s job, not yours. “Slay not your children, fearing a fall to poverty, We shall provide for them and for you. Lo! The slaying of them is a great sin.” [Al-Isra 17:31]
Adoption in Islam: Adoption is Halal. You can take care of someone else and pay for their expenses, but do not name her after your name because problems will come out later like inheritance and marriage issues.
“Allah has not assigned unto any man two hearts within his body, nor has He made your wives whom you declare (to be your mothers) your mothers, nor has He made those whom you claim (to be your sons) your sons. This is but a saying of your mouths. But Allah says the truth and He show the way. Proclaim their real parentage. That will be more equitable in the sight of Allah. And if you know not their fathers, then (they are) your brethren in the faith, and your clients. And there is no sin for you in the mistakes that ye make unintentionally, but what your hearts purpose (that will be a sin for you). Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.” [Al-Ahzab 33:4-5]
Denying fatherhood: Marriage in Islam is to be made public in order to avoid problems of denying parenthood. Denying fatherhood to a child also means accusing the mother of adultery. A child, on the other hand cannot deny her own parents, because of poverty or for any other reason. She cannot refuse to take her father’s name.
Fair treatment to all your children: As parents, be fair in treating all your children, either in money, love, etc.
THE SPOUSE (الزوج)
Haram to marry blood and milk relations
“Forbidden unto you are your mothers, and your daughters, and your sisters, and your father’s sisters, and your mother’s sisters, and your brother’s daughters and your sister’s daughters, and your foster-mothers, and your foster-sisters, and your mothers-in-law, and your step-daughters who are under your protection (born) of your women unto whom ye have gone in – but if ye have not gone in unto them, then it is no sin for you (to marry their daughters) – and the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins. And (it is forbidden unto you) that ye should have two sisters together, except what hath already happened (of that nature) in the past. Lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.” [An-Nisa 4:23]
Haram to marry non-Muslims except Jews and Christians
“Wed not idolatresses till they believe; for lo! A believing bondwoman is better than an idolatress though she please you; and give not your daughters in marriage to idolaters till they believe, for lo! A believing slave is better than an idolater though he please you. These invite unto the Fire, and Allah invites unto the Garden and unto forgiveness by His grace, and expounded His revelations to mankind that haply they may remember.” [Al-Baqarah 2:221]
Haram to have sexual intercourse during menstruation and post-childbirth bleeding.
Sexual intercourse is prohibited:
- Menstruation: The bottom line is a man may share the bed with his wife but he is not allowed to have sexual relations with her in those days, because it is not good for either of them. “They question you (O Muhammad) concerning menstruation. Say: It is an illness, so let women alone at such times and go not in unto them till they are cleansed. And when they have purified themselves, then go in unto them as Allah hath enjoined upon you. Truly Allah loves those who turn unto Him, and loves those who have a care for cleanness.” [Al-Baqarah 2:222]
- Post-childbirth bleeding
- Daylight hours of Ramadan (and voluntary fasting)
- Hajj (major pilgrimage) and Umrah (minor pilgrimage)
- Sodomy اللواط is Haram: Sodomy is immorality in general. It is a term used today predominantly in law to describe any of various forms of sexual intercourse held to be unnatural, particularly bestiality; anal sex, or oral sex. It is an insertion of the penis via the anus, committed by a man with his partner (either a man or a woman).
Rights of a woman on her ‘Iddah (waiting period after a divorce or after the death of the husband)
“Women who are divorced shall wait, keeping themselves apart, three (monthly) courses. And it is not lawful for them that they should conceal that which Allah hath created in their wombs if they are believers in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands would do better to take them back in that case if they desire reconciliation. And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness, and men are a degree above them. Allah is Mighty, Wise.” [Al-Baqarah 2:228]
“Divorce must be pronounced twice and then (a woman) must be retained in honor or released in kindness. And it is not lawful for you that ye take from women aught of that which ye have given them; except (in the case) when both fear that they may not be able to keep within the limits (imposed by) Allah. And if ye fear that they may not be able to keep the limits of Allah, in that case it is no sin for either of them if the woman ransom herself. These are the limits (imposed by) Allah. Transgress them not. For whosoever transgress Allah’s limits: such are wrong-doers.” [Al-Baqarah 2:229]
It is her right to stay in the house during her ‘Iddah. It is not only her right but it is her duty to stay in the house in order to soften both their hearts and to have another chance of reconciliation. It is Haram for the husband to treat her wife badly in order to force her to ask for a divorce. There is a difference of the husband divorcing her and the wife asking for it. It is Haram to talk about the private life of a married couple, either yours or others’.
“O Prophet! When you (men) put away women, put them away for their (legal) period and reckon the period, and keep your duty to Allah, your Lord. Expel them not from their houses nor let them go forth unless they commit open immorality. Such are the limits (imposed by) Allah; and whoso transgresses Allah’s limits, he verily wronged his soul. You know not: it may be that Allah will afterward bring some new thing to pass.” [At-Talaq 65:1]