Spiritually-elevated women

By: Maryam Amir

Virgin Mary عليها السَّلام miraculously bore Christ ﷺ, one of the most incredible men to walk the planet, but she was never married.

Aishah رضي الله عنها had an incredible marriage, but she was never a mother. She was also a widow.

Asiyah عليها السَّلام was an adoptive mother to Mosesﷺ, but was married to a tyrannical husband.

The blessed Prophetic father ﷺ of Hajar’s رضي الله عنها son Ismail ﷺ was alive but physically separated from them and so she essentially raised her son as a single mother.

Eve عليها السلام had one child who was committed to morality, and she another who must have torn her heart out when he murdered his own brother.

Zaynab bint Jahsh رضي الله عنها was divorced, but then remarried the best man on earth ﷺ.

Fatimah رضي الله عنها was repeatedly described as the most devoted daughter in addition to her roles as wife and mother.

Khadijah رضي الله عنها had the most amazing husband ﷺ with the most amazing children and the most compassionate, passionate marriage.

The Queen of Sheba عليها السَّلام is described in the Qur’an in connection with her position, but not explicitly in connection to marriage or motherhood.

God gave us examples in history of some of the most spiritually elevated women in different types of single/married or motherhood/less situations.

It is unjust for our community to portray a woman’s piety being connected solely to her marriage or motherhood status when even some of the most important figures of our history did not fulfill some of our community’s contemporary expectations. Yes, marriage and motherhood are so important. But not every woman will experience them, nor find happiness in them. That is not commentary on her worth or the level of her connection to Allah.

Sisters: God knows your life circumstances, even when everyone looking in from the outside have no idea of your pain, of your frustration or your confusion or your burning Dua. And I know many of you deal with pressure constantly. But instead of feeling crippled when you’re overwhelmed, focus on these women. God gave us their myriad of examples for a reason. Let’s draw our strength from them and renew our commitment to Him and to working for His sake regardless of our status.

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A Woman’s Love

By: Sister Asma Hussein (author of “A Temporary Gift”)

A woman’s love is one of the most beautiful things a man can ever possess. It’s a warm blanket over a shivering body, a word of comfort and support in the midst of lies, a sip of water and morsel of food in the belly of a starving wanderer.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “…The most blessed joy in life is a good, righteous wife.” The purity of a good woman’s love can’t be matched by any other worldly thing. Getting to a point where you can receive that love is a wholly different story.

Many of us put walls up around our hearts. We’ve been taunted by people who don’t understand our faith, called by the worst names just for existing in our religious garb.

And sadly, we’ve also been hurt by people in our own community. Imams of mosques throw around jokes about women as though we can’t hear them – as though it doesn’t affect us to be lumped together and stereotypically thought of as too emotional, too complicated, too female.

From the sneering comments about having four wives that send the men into fits of roaring laughter to the dank dungeons of mosques to which we are relegated – women struggle with it all. Some of us are even exposed to abuse within our own families. We’re told that we can’t. That’s the word that’s most often used: “can’t.” Can’t follow your dreams because you’re a woman. Can’t ever be in the public eye because you’re a woman. Can’t speak for yourself because you’re a woman. Can’t. Can’t. Can’t.

But we can, and we know it, because we are some of the most intelligent, articulate human beings on the planet. And so we struggle every day to be faithful believers, to follow our dreams even though we’re being told not to, to work diligently to better our community because we love it despite its flaws.

Every day we live in that struggle. And so we unknowingly build walls around our hearts. Not to keep love out, but to keep pain out. To keep out the voices of people who tell us to not speak or do or think. To keep out the comments of passersby on the train saying go back to your own country. The walls are there so that the disrespectful jokes roll off our shoulders, so that we can still enter the mosque and pray even when the space is subpar.

We need those walls around our hearts to survive. We’ve pieced together those exterior shells so that we are not devastated at every turn, heartbroken at every negative word, unable to lift our heads above water every time someone says we “can’t.”

A woman’s love is within those walls, within that shell that has been growing and hardening for years. The unsuccessful man tries to forcefully break down those walls and reach what is within, angrily giving up when he realizes those fortresses aren’t suddenly going to come crashing down. He wants what he doesn’t yet deserve.

The successful man stands and waits until he notices one single loose brick in that wall, and he nudges it and coaxes it out of its place. That’s the beginning of love – the systematic dismantling of every barrier that she has put up because she has had to survive all these years. He commits to her. He offers her his heart, even if it’s also bruised and battered, so that she can know it’s safe to finally just be. That is when true love is born.

Those who have known a good woman’s love will know that there is nothing like it. Nothing sweeter. Nothing truer. Nothing else that can be a perpetual place of warmth in the midst of winter, a private running stream in the midst of drought, and a place to put your heart when your heart was once homeless. It takes a good man’s love to really know the potential of a good woman’s love. May God grant it to all those who seek it.

“Good women are for good men, and good men are for good women.” [An-Nur 24:26]

وَالطَّيِّبَاتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَالطَّيِّبُونَ لِلطَّيِّبَاتِ

Single?

If the woman does not marry in this life, Allah will marry her off in Paradise to the one she finds delight in. – Ibn Uthaymin

It is better for a woman to be married than to remain single, but it is better for her to be single than to be married to an oppressive, abusive man who makes her life an intolerable misery. – Mufti Ismail Menk

Beauty of the heart

By: Maryam Amir

How frequently have you not felt beautiful or attractive or good about your looks?

Prophet Yusuf – Joseph (peace be upon him) was given astounding beauty. And yet, as Imam Ibnul Qayyim notes, his beauty was a root reason for why Yusuf (peace be upon him) was imprisoned.

What got him out of prison, elevated his rank amongst people and put him in one of the most powerful positions of the country? It began with interpreting the dream of the King – Knowledge.

God is beautiful and He loves beauty, as the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught us. But God’s beauty standards aren’t defined by society and knowledge is what raises our ranks.

Your scars, your stretch marks, your blemishes, the bags under your eyes- every piece of you tells the story of the fight you put up every single day; the sacrifices you’re making, the obstacles you’ve overcome.

When you don’t feel beautiful on the outside, ask yourself: What knowledge and character can I gain to beautify what matters most – my heart?

“Verily, God does not look at your appearance or wealth, but rather He looks at your hearts and actions.” – Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

My woman

My wife is a woman who is not a scholar, has not  attended a ton of Halaqahs, nor has she ever given a Halaqah in her life, nor does she speak much in gatherings…  but she is the coolness of her parents, the sanity of her husband, and a woman who embodies loyalty and devotion. When you see me in multiple cities every week teaching, she is at home raising a family and NEVER once complained about my work in D’awah or about me not being home enough. Some people talk the talk and some people walk the walk and I see her as the latter. May Allah preserver her and elevate her and grant her a home in Paradise next to Khadijah (Radiyallahu Anha – may Allah be pleased with her). And may Allah reward all the righteous sisters out there who do the most unappreciated job in the world of holding things down at home. Amin. – Omar Soleiman

Woman’s first relationship

The Muslim woman’s first and most important relation is with her Creator the Almighty, and all other roles in life come after this fundamental aspect of her being. If a woman chooses to take on the role of motherhood she should do so with the intention of drawing closer to Allah Almighty so she will have her sacrifice, commitment and great effort counted as worship. – Excerpt from onislam.net

That “Aha!” moment

Why Muslim women are classified as oppressed and extremist when they observe the veil (Hijab)?

SubhanAllah! Society has a way that they try to discriminate Muslims from everyone else. They don’t even realize that their own religion had worn the Hijab. It is all about gaining knowledge. Take a chance to explore Islam. You will have that “AHA” moment and realize that wow Islam is such a beautiful and peaceful religion. Islam is the way of life. Wearing the Hijab let people know that:  Hey! I am modest woman and my body is not for you to see. I am not interested in what you have to offer for me. You have this impression of keeping it classy and you walk with your head up high choosing not to show men your body. ” 

I personally know that the Hijab creates the beauty of a respectful classy woman. So society think about “why did Christianity , Catholicism, and many other religions cover with the Hijab? ” What was the message given? In today’s society people try to go with what the media says but you have to pull yourself away from the media and start diving into some researching and understanding of Islam in Islamic books such as like the Qur’an to begin with. You would start to understand Islam even more with the knowledge you gain from it. Visit your local mosque to see what the Muslim community is like. Live a life of gaining knowledge.

[khadijah1621]