Tag Archives: Woman

A Woman’s Love

By: Sister Asma Hussein (author of “A Temporary Gift”)

A woman’s love is one of the most beautiful things a man can ever possess. It’s a warm blanket over a shivering body, a word of comfort and support in the midst of lies, a sip of water and morsel of food in the belly of a starving wanderer.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “…The most blessed joy in life is a good, righteous wife.” The purity of a good woman’s love can’t be matched by any other worldly thing. Getting to a point where you can receive that love is a wholly different story.

Many of us put walls up around our hearts. We’ve been taunted by people who don’t understand our faith, called by the worst names just for existing in our religious garb.

And sadly, we’ve also been hurt by people in our own community. Imams of mosques throw around jokes about women as though we can’t hear them – as though it doesn’t affect us to be lumped together and stereotypically thought of as too emotional, too complicated, too female.

From the sneering comments about having four wives that send the men into fits of roaring laughter to the dank dungeons of mosques to which we are relegated – women struggle with it all. Some of us are even exposed to abuse within our own families. We’re told that we can’t. That’s the word that’s most often used: “can’t.” Can’t follow your dreams because you’re a woman. Can’t ever be in the public eye because you’re a woman. Can’t speak for yourself because you’re a woman. Can’t. Can’t. Can’t.

But we can, and we know it, because we are some of the most intelligent, articulate human beings on the planet. And so we struggle every day to be faithful believers, to follow our dreams even though we’re being told not to, to work diligently to better our community because we love it despite its flaws.

Every day we live in that struggle. And so we unknowingly build walls around our hearts. Not to keep love out, but to keep pain out. To keep out the voices of people who tell us to not speak or do or think. To keep out the comments of passersby on the train saying go back to your own country. The walls are there so that the disrespectful jokes roll off our shoulders, so that we can still enter the mosque and pray even when the space is subpar.

We need those walls around our hearts to survive. We’ve pieced together those exterior shells so that we are not devastated at every turn, heartbroken at every negative word, unable to lift our heads above water every time someone says we “can’t.”

A woman’s love is within those walls, within that shell that has been growing and hardening for years. The unsuccessful man tries to forcefully break down those walls and reach what is within, angrily giving up when he realizes those fortresses aren’t suddenly going to come crashing down. He wants what he doesn’t yet deserve.

The successful man stands and waits until he notices one single loose brick in that wall, and he nudges it and coaxes it out of its place. That’s the beginning of love – the systematic dismantling of every barrier that she has put up because she has had to survive all these years. He commits to her. He offers her his heart, even if it’s also bruised and battered, so that she can know it’s safe to finally just be. That is when true love is born.

Those who have known a good woman’s love will know that there is nothing like it. Nothing sweeter. Nothing truer. Nothing else that can be a perpetual place of warmth in the midst of winter, a private running stream in the midst of drought, and a place to put your heart when your heart was once homeless. It takes a good man’s love to really know the potential of a good woman’s love. May God grant it to all those who seek it.

“Good women are for good men, and good men are for good women.” [An-Nur 24:26]

وَالطَّيِّبَاتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَالطَّيِّبُونَ لِلطَّيِّبَاتِ

If the woman does not marry in this life, Allah will marry her off in Paradise to the one she finds delight in. – Ibn Uthaymin

It is better for a woman to be married than to remain single, but it is better for her to be single than to be married to an oppressive, abusive man who makes her life an intolerable misery. – Mufti Ismail Menk

My woman

My wife is a woman who is not a scholar, has not  attended a ton of Halaqahs, nor has she ever given a Halaqah in her life, nor does she speak much in gatherings…  but she is the coolness of her parents, the sanity of her husband, and a woman who embodies loyalty and devotion. When you see me in multiple cities every week teaching, she is at home raising a family and NEVER once complained about my work in D’awah or about me not being home enough. Some people talk the talk and some people walk the walk and I see her as the latter. May Allah preserver her and elevate her and grant her a home in Paradise next to Khadijah (Radiyallahu Anha – may Allah be pleased with her). And may Allah reward all the righteous sisters out there who do the most unappreciated job in the world of holding things down at home. Amin. – Omar Soleiman

Woman’s first relationship

The Muslim woman’s first and most important relation is with her Creator the Almighty, and all other roles in life come after this fundamental aspect of her being. If a woman chooses to take on the role of motherhood she should do so with the intention of drawing closer to Allah Almighty so she will have her sacrifice, commitment and great effort counted as worship. – Excerpt from onislam.net

Link

Please click Woman’s Display – A Misplay? by Munazza Sharafuddin, a BDS student in Mangaluru.

The woman, the other

The woman is a homemaker, while the “other” is a home wrecker.

The woman is a shaper of humanity, while the “other” is a destroyer.

The woman is the reason for his success, while the “other” is for his failure.

The woman is full of modesty, while the “other” is full of vanity.

The woman is properly-covered, while the “other” is nakedly-covered.

The woman’s beauty comes from within, while the “other” is superficial.

Be THE WOMAN and not “THE OTHER.”

Manners in the Masjid

Manners for Sisters at the Mosque and Gatherings of Remembrance
By: Khadija J. C. Locks

Going to the Mosque (MASJID) is a favor from Allah, Glorious and Great.  As with all favors from Him, it is what we do with that favor that will turn it into a blessing or a curse for us.  There are manners (ADAB) for attending Friday prayers and other visits to the Masjid and places of remembrance, especially for women.  I say especially for women because it is not an obligation for us to attend the Friday prayer, it is a privilege.

Out of respect for the dignity of the occasion, before going to any function at a Masjid, or any building used as a place of worship or remembrance (DHIKR), it is recommended to take a shower (GHUSL).  We should all wear our nicest and most modest clothes as Allah, Glorious and Great said: Oh Children of Adam! Wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer.…” [Al- A’raf 7:31)

It is especially important that women avoid wearing see through clothes or clothes that reveal the shapes of their bodies. Women should remember not to wear perfume or scented oils (ATTAR) as it may distract our brothers from their worship and divert their attention towards women  instead of towards Allah, Exalted is He!  When we enter we should be certain to lower our gaze and guard our modesty: “And say to the believing women that they should Lower their gaze and guard their modesty that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must appear thereof.” [An-Nur 24:31]

Remember where we are and what is our intention in being there.  We should take a seat next to any sisters who are already there, starting from the side furthest from the entrance.  In this way the sisters who arrive after us do not have to climb over us or disturb us.

When arriving at a Masjid, it is recommended to offer two units Sunnah prayer as greetings to the Masjid.  Then sit quietly, preferably doing silent remembrance (DHIKR) or reading the Holy Qur’an.  This is not the time for socializing, but an opportunity to contemplate.

At Friday prayer (JUMU’AH), when the Imam begins to speak we are not to say one word.  There is Hadith to the effect that any one speaking during the sermon (KHUTBAH) gets no credit for the entire prayer.  Besides losing all credit for that prayer, if our voices disturb anyone, we are accountable for that.  Children should use self-restraint or stay home; the Masjid is not a playground.

When the ADHAN (call to prayer) is called, sit still.  When you hear the IQAMAH recited, at the line “HAYYA ‘ALAS SALAH” rise and quietly form your straight lines, standing shoulder to shoulder with the sisters on either side of you.  Our Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings on his sweet soul, warned us the Shaitan (Devil) will fill up the empty space if we are not touching each other in the prayer line.  Silently offer your intention to follow the Imam and wait for him to call the Takbirah Al-Ihram (ALLAHU AKBAR) before lifting your hands.  Each worshipper needs permission from the Imam to change position so do not change your position until you hear “ALLAHU AKBAR” or “SAMI ALLAHU LIMAN HAMIDAH” (Allah hears one who praises Him) when returning from RUKU (bowing position).  Even if you have memorized a particular Surah or Ayah that is being recited, it is best to be quiet and listen as listening is an aid to perfection and has a different effect on us than recitation.  Out of respect for Allah, Glorious and Great, the Holy Qur’an and our brothers and sisters, we should remain silent during Recitations, lectures and prayers.

After the completion of the obligatory portion of the prayer, it is recommended to change location with your neighbor to perform the Sunnah prayers, so that more areas of the earth will bear witness for our act of prayer on the Day of Judgment.

After the prayer, it is recommended to greet your sisters with “AS-SALAMU ALAIKUM” and to warmly embrace one another.  Now is the time to speak, remembering where we are and: Lower your voice for the harshest of sounds without a doubt is the braying of an ass.” [Luqman 31:19]

Many sisters come from countries where women do not go to the Masjid, so it is particularly lovely that here we can.  Let’s all enjoy this favor from Allah, Exalted is He, and turn it into a blessing by being grateful and doing our best to have good manners (ADAB).

May Allah, The Source of all good, reward you with His Good. (Amin).